Dirty Jobs

What did you want to be when you wanted to grow up? I personally wanted to be an entomologist for quite awhile when I was growing up until I moved on to thinking about all the other cool things that I could do when I became an adult. No matter what it was, I knew that I wanted to do something that was fun and extremely exciting. Anyone who watches TV these days has had to of noticed that many of the programs are beginning to document and glorify extreme and dangerous jobs, showing anything that is out of the ordinary. Anytime you switch on the Discovery Channel the programs are full of reality shows on extreme, physical, out of the ordinary, and many times extremely manly jobs, shows including Dirty Jobs, Ice Road Truckers, Axemen, and Deadliest Catch (what could be more manly than catching crabs off the frozen seas of Alaska for a monstrous profit?). It seems that our culture has an extreme love for people with extreme and exciting ways of making a living.

Along with this love for the out of the ordinary occupation, there also seems to be a cultural aversion toward the ordinary desk job. Movies like and shows like Office Space and The Office are already giving us pictures of how redundant, alienating, and ridiculous corporate, dead-end jobs can be. It has also been very easy to see this aversion in my own thoughts and those of my roommates. All three of us have voiced that we have absolutely do not want a desk job in the corporate sector and are selecting occupations that get us out "normal" work environments. I am seeking a job in the Outdoor Education field, Jon, one of my roommates, is going to be a campus ministry intern, hardly a "normal" job, and Jason, my other roommate, has voiced that the last thing that he would want right now is to have a job with a cubicle and a desk.

So why do so many people, especially young people, feel so threatened by typical jobs within the service sector. I can't answer for everyone on this subject, but I can offer some of my thoughts on why I would prefer to have an abnormal occupation. There are many different reasons why I would not want a desk job right now, for reasons such as fear of repetition and alienation, boredom, and loss of a sense of purpose, but I think one of the biggest reasons why I want to work in a place free of indoor monotony is because its element of grounding to the earth. In the book The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran speaks about work as being a way to be connected to the cycle of the earth because everything else in the universe does work as well and is able to see and reap the fruits of its labor. I think that all work has some fruit to some extent, but it just seems that some work has more visible fruit than others, giving us a much more concrete feeling of accomplishment and contentment. Whether you are a farmer, a minister, a painter, or a hot-air balloon pilot, it just seems like there is more fruit in their jobs rather than composing TPS reports all day long.

In addition to these thoughts, I also can't get away from the romantic, exciting elements of an adventurous jobs that seem so tempting to children as they think about what they want to be when they grow up. Perhaps I am still young and naive, but I still can't get away from those thoughts of adventure. I am always encouraged by the words of Yvon Chouinard, the founder of the Patagonia outdoor company and renowned Yosemite rock climber: "The Lee Iococcas, Donald Trumps, and Jack Welches of the business world are heroes to no one except other businessmen with similar values. I wanted to be a fur trapper when I grew up." The world is a lot bigger than money, and maybe the way that we make and spend our time money should reflect that.

The Faith and the Doubts of the Philosophers

Recently I have begun to explore the philosophy of Danish Soren Kierkegaard and the many thoughts on God and religion that he had. Right now I have begun to read his famous work Fear and Trembling, written in 1843. Kierkegaard wrote on a great variety of different subjects and has been classified as an existentialist, post-modernist, individualist, and mystic all rolled into one, but in Fear and Trembling he tackles the specific issue of faith and obedience, bringing up some very interesting thoughts and arguments.

Kierkegaard frames his arguments in Fear and Trembling by using the example of Abraham sacrificing his son Isaac at the command of God, only to be later ordered to spare his son at last minute. Kierkegaard gives this as an example as one of the greatest acts of faith ever recorded, but also emphasizes how huge this act really was. Not only was Abraham being ordered to sacrifice his own son, a painful command in and of itself, but he was essentially being ordered by God to do something completely outside of the nature of God. By sacrificing Isaac, Abraham would not only be killing his own son, but he would also essentially be destroying and going against everything that he ever understood about God. Despite this, Abraham stood true to the very end, having faith that God would prove to be faithful.

This story and illustration is compelling enough, but what really peaked my interest in this passage was Kierkegaard's account of his own struggles with this story. Kierkegaard doesn't merely gloss over the story like a Sunday school lesson for grade schoolers, but instead tackles the maddening paradox that this passage embraces. How could an all knowing, all powerful, all loving God order his faithful servant to do something that would be completely contradictory to His own nature? Kierkegaard stood perplexed. He states that he has studied various aspects of complicated philosophy and understands it fairly well but when confronted with a story that many Christian children learn in grade school, he is confused and very doubtful. He comes to the point where he says that all he knows is that he believes that God is loving in the end and that we can only admire Abraham and his rock hard faith, despite all the paradoxes woven throughout.

I think what spoke greatly to me was that Kierkegaard was so honest about his inner conflict with belief and doubt and shows that it is completely normal, even for famous philosophers. Often times I feel that I, along with other believers, are afraid of having doubts and feel that it is a weakening of our faith, but Kierkegaard states to the contrary. Rather than doubt being the erosion of faith, it instead tries and solidifies it. If anything, it is very comforting to see that even the greatest philosophers and thinkers of our time dealt with sin, doubt, and faith just like the rest of us.

An Inbred Sense of Adventure

Have you ever thought about how the way your parents raised you has had a lasting effect on how you experience and look at the world? The more I talk with people about their relationships with their parents and where they grew up I am realizing more and more how much an effect that has on our desires and passions. I have talked with people who have over-bearing parents, supportive parents, passive parents, and absent parents. I have also been able to talk to people from the West, the Mid-West, the East coast, from Europe, and from Asia. All of these experiences have lead me to think about my own experience and how that is shaping how I am feeling right now as I begin to move into a new chapter of my life.

Both of my parents were born and raised in the west, mainly Colorado, and that kind of mindset had a great effect on them. Both of my parents were very adventurous and were willing to go all over the country and try different things. It seems that that small bit of wanderlust that they experienced in their lives seemed to rub off on both my sister and me. My parents brought us up to be adventurous, to follow our hearts, to try different things, and to seek God wherever He may lead. My sister did just that by moving to Minnesota, pursuing herbal medicine after a getting a degree in church music, and pursuing a life on her own rather than going straight into marriage. The same was true of me as I went to ODU to pursue a career in naval aviation, then quit to pursue other things, including working in places away from home for my summers in college. It seems through all of the things that I have experienced that inbred sense of adventure of romantic pursuit of God through intuition.

So this is my background as I come into my soon-to-be post-college life. My western upbringing continues to drive me on to new and different frontiers. But the hard part is that I am conflicted about what frontier to explore. I find myself applying to a job with Intervarsity and also equipped to serve in the wilderness as an outdoor educator. While I am still excited about interviewing with a job with IV, an organization that has dramatically changed the way that I look at God, I still continue to have the nagging feeling of going out into the great expanses of the wilderness and teaching others to respect and experience the wonders of God's creation that has profoundly changed my life. As my job interview with Intervarsity draws nearer, I find myself being more conflicted about what path I want to take, and what the timing of taking that path should be. I know this is part of growing up, but I am still feeling the pangs of exploration and the unknown, the same pangs that drew gold-miners to the Klondike, what drew Cook and Amundsen to the frozen south, and what drew Muir to the Sierras in the uncharted mountains of California. What an effect our experiences have on our own passions, wishes, and directions!

Leadership....On and Off the Mountain

I have been in leadership positions of various organizations on and off for just about 7 years, but it seems that, despite my "experience," that I struggle with understanding leadership and becoming a better leader. Since becoming president of the Intervarsity Chapter at IV, I have been constantly challenged by how to learn to be a better and more effective leader and have gotten a lot of feedback, mainly from my campus staff worker and those that I lead. Leadership is still a struggle for me, but I continue to learn every day that leadership is not just about managing and getting things done, but also about encouraging and building people up along the way as well. I still struggle with putting this idea into practice, but while I was reading a book on mountaineering I was encouraged to see this principle of leadership presented in a fresh new way.

The book that I am reading, Mountaineering: The Freedom of the Hills, is essentially a very fat book full of all the various aspects of mountaineering, from hiking to climbing to ice climbing to cooking to glacier rope-work. I especially enjoyed the chapter on group leadership because I am always interested in improving my own leadership, both in my everyday context and within a outdoor guiding context. Essentially, this chapter said that a climb leader has to have to very important and equal responsibilities. One, the leader has to constantly set goals and encourage others to attain those goals. In the context of mountaineering, this would mean making sure party makes it across a glacier, over a rock face, and onto the summit in time. The second and equally important task of the climb leader is to be the guardian of group cohesion. This means that the leader has to constantly have his or her finger on the pulse of the groups morale and makes sure they are both being challenged and having a good time. In other words, the climb leader has to realize that the real point of climbing is not about attaining the summit (even though it is a very important aspect), but that the real point of climbing is enjoying nature and experiencing the excitement, challenge, and adventure of being in the mountains. The climb leader sets goals and wants to attain them, but the leader always has real point always in mind.

At first, I really enjoyed this chapter only because of the possible applications that I could use for it when I lead others in the wilderness, but then it struck me that that idea is what has been drilled into me since I became the president of IV. I really like to focus on goals, business, and getting things done, and really skimp on group cohesion and the real point of being on leadership in IV: to be challenged in our adventurous walk with God and be challenged in how we serve others as Christians. Attaining goals is important, but our victories would be empty if we really miss the point of growing closer together and seeking to enjoy and follow God more closely.

The Wisdom of Emile Durkheim

This semester I have the pleasure of taking a course in the sociology of religion and I am really getting into it and enjoying it, despite the challenges that the subject material presents, especially because in order to study sociology, one has to try to be "objective" and observe things from the outside in. Being the devout postmodern that I am, I would always argue that it is really impossible to look at anything completely objectively because we ourselves are directly involved in the things around us whether we like it or not, but am still enjoying being able to look at religion, its effects on society, as well as my own faith a little bit more critically.

This morning in my class we began to learn about and analyze the writings and theories of Emile Durkheim, a sociologist who did much of his work during the turn of the 20th century and had many thoughts on the sociological nature of religion. Many of his sociological thoughts on religion are very interesting and important to know, but one idea struck me very hard when I heard it. According to Durkheim, he states that society precedes religion. In other words, the practices and the rituals that are used and important to a particular religion are governed and dictated by the society of the worshipers.

At first glance, I was stunned by this seemingly blasphemous statement. Are you telling me that you consider religion to be merely a function of the society of sinful humans?! Once I got over the initial shock, however, I began to sit back and think and came to realize that this statement is really quite true and useful. This statement does not blatantly deny that God exists and that religion is unimportant and arbitrary, however it does state that certain societies will respond to the truth of God in different ways depending on the society that we live in. In the West, for example, many of us believe in the basic ideas and truths of Christianity, however we also tend to blend it with some of the other not so scriptural ideas of the ancient Greek philosophers or the easy and twisted tenants of capitalism. However there is hope. Religion is not the end all, but merely the window in which we try to relate to and connect with God. The truth is that we do not worship religion in and of itself, but worship a God that transcends society and culture and who reaches across all people groups.

Although this truth gives us hope and makes us warm and fuzzy, that statement also begs the question: If our version of Christianity is so governed by our society, then how do we reach out to others of other cultures and faiths and present to them the true gospel, and not just the Western gospel that we have been taught and socialized into? Different cultures have different and very healthy values and their religions have important points that Western Christianity often skims over or misses completely, and to completely obliterate their value systems and cultural heritages and plug in Western Christianity wholesale would be wrong. However, it is so hard to separate ourselves from our own culture (very close to impossible). So, what is a critical and sensitive Christian to do? I think that as we explore the many truths of religions and cultures, we must continually learn to listen to one another and look at the Bible both critically and obediently. Only then can we really begin to realize what it means to worship a God of all cultures.

Even though Durkheim was part of a discipline that is often overlooked by Christians, I believe that his ideas about society and religion are extremely valuable and believe that all Christians should be challenged to look at their beliefs critically and explore the nature of our God who is worshiped in more tongues than we can count. We may not be able to completely come out of our cultural bubbles, but we can still realize that God understands and watches over all the bubbles.

New Options...and More Uncertainty!

Just when I thought that I had God figured and knew exactly what direction I was headed in, He has thrown wrench into the inner workings of my limited human reasoning. For months now I have been assuming that I would go directly into going into staff work with Intervarsity directly after college, no questions asked. Now, I'm not so sure. My sister informed me this evening that Wilderness Canoe Base, the canoe camp that I guided at this summer in one of the most unique working environments in the world, is going to be expanding their program to include winter trips. They are looking for guides to work year round and I am one of the people that they want to come back next year. Not only that, I also found out that my sister will also be moving out to the area and if I work out there I will be able to be much closer to her. Too many options!

Being a senior in college, I have a lot of opportunities open to me and I now I find myself thinking about what direction I should go. Do I go directly into staff work and do something that I know that I will learn from and would really enjoy or should I take a year off and go north, doing something that would give me extreme joy and pleasure, give me possibly a once in lifetime experience, and then come back to staff work after a year of working and ministering up north? I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know! Some of these decisions need to be made somewhat in the future, but the future is coming much too fast! The minute I tell God that I pretty much have things figured out, God reminds me He is in control and ultimately wants to give me what will be best for me. I hate to say this right now, but only time will tell! What a time this will shape up to be!

Wilderness and Escapism

In addition to having a great time in the mountains this past weekend, I also had a dark realization about myself and the people that I interacted with on my trip. Often times going into the wilderness is not only a way to get out and enjoy the natural world, but it also can be a vehicle to run away from the troubles and turmoil in our lives. Many of the people that were out for the weekend I interacted with noted that they really did not enjoy their jobs and came out into the mountains on the weekends to escape the turmoil and the boredom of their daily lives. I thought this was very sad and disturbing, until I realized that I do the exact same thing.

I constantly rejoice that God has given me a desire and passion to enjoy Him in His natural creation, I am also realizing that often times I use it in order to escape from my troubles and take my mind off of my unhappiness or frustrations. Often times when I am frustrated, confused, or just bored with my current situation, I simply fantasize about a "simpler" lifestyle in the woods, not to unclutter my life, but to simply escape the problems and ambiguities of my life.

Don't get me wrong, I still believe that it is good to strive to simplify our lives, and to change aspects of our lives if we see that it is causing problems and strife in our lives, but I don't think that merely trying to get away from them by daydreaming or chronically escaping from them. In fact, I think that that is a fierce perversion of the beauty and tranquility of nature and the God that I seek in creation. Somewhere there has to be a balance between enjoying the simplified life that is attained in the natural world and difficult situations of where we find ourselves in the places where we currently find ourselves.

My prayer right now is that I can enjoy God and the places that I find myself in right now. Even though my transition from college life to "real life" is stressful and confusing, somehow I am hoping that I am led to a place where I still find peace in it and I can rejoice in the places that my life is going. Don't get me wrong, I still plan on enjoying the outdoors and the peace and simplicity that it offers; I merely hope that I don't drastically misuse it by putting it in an unhealthy place in my life.

Wilderness Comradeship at the Three Ridges

Two weekends ago I spent some time backpacking out in the Three Ridges Wilderness Area in western Virginia and had a fantastic time exploring the woods and mountains out there. I always enjoy getting out into nature and am happy pretty much anywhere I am if I am outside, but this past trip was absolutely amazing. I began my trip at sunset that Friday and spent my first hour hiking the trail along the ridge tops bathed in the beautiful orange light of the setting sun. The second day was clear and cold and I hiked along the ridge line again, experiencing beautiful views to the west and to the south. Finally, my last day on the trail took me through a dark and lush valley next to a fairly deep creek. The trail led me through a valley where the trees once had deep, dark green leaves, but they were then fiery yellow, giving the entire valley the look and feel of having a warm glow, even though it was a chilly thirty degrees in the area. All the scenery on my trip was absolutely fantastic!

The other part of the trip that I enjoyed was my eclectic companionship. Most of the route that I followed through the area was on the Appalachian Trail and I was able to talk to and hike with many of the folks who were hiking the entire trail. Most of them were coming from Maine and were on their way south, and they were more than happy to tell me some of the adventures that they had experienced on the trail and also were willing to listen to some of the outdoor adventure stories that I had to tell as well. As I spent time with these folks, I noticed a certain type of "trail culture" that all of them had. They were always willing to share their supplies with me, always willing to listen and talk about our experiences, and they were always willing to help or give advice to anyone coming down the trail. It was as if all of us had a small understanding of one another, that we knew that we shared similar experiences. We all knew that we had persevered through cold nights, eaten stale food, and hiked for many miles in driving rain. We knew that we had experienced intense thirst, twisted worn out bones, and fallen into knee-deep mud. And we also knew that we would do it all over again because of the peace, beauty, and tranquility that we have experienced in the wilderness. This type of "wilderness comradeship" was very interesting to experience and I enjoyed it immensely.

After I experienced this feeling of wilderness comradeship, I began to think about how we have something similar within the Christian community and how sometimes we do not. I believe that many Christians understand that one of the most basic aspects of our faith is to take care of one another and connect to one another in times of need. Often times, however, we fall short of this ideal and become extremely absorbed in ourselves. To some degree, I wonder if we also need to adopt some wilderness comradeship and try to remember that we as members of a Christian community also have similar hardships, have similar experiences, and have similar passions. We love and care for one another not only because we have to, but because we know that we have experienced the same hardships and joys, that don't understand many of the same things, and that we ultimately have the same passion of desiring to experience and to seek out God. I know that it really isn't completely that simple, but I wonder what would happen if we initially tried to connect with people by sharing our lives, our struggles, our passions, and our stories.

There Goes My Everything

In one of my history classes I was required to read the book There Goes My Everything by Jason Sokol. Even though it was assigned reading I found it greatly interesting because of the unique subject matter. The subject of the book was the history of the civil rights movement from the white southern perspective, a perspective that is often misrepresented in history. Rather than the southern experience being very "black and white," (pardon the cliche) the experience of white southerners was very diverse and had many different perspectives. Also, the book allowed me to gain some interesting insights into why some southerners were so against desegregation. To some degree there was a lot of sinful desire to keep blacks under subordinate oppression, but on the other hand southerners knew that if blacks were given more rights, the entire economy and cultural makeup of the south would change dramatically. To some degree, many southerners were afraid of change and just not willing to give up their ways of life.

I think the most impactful aspect of the book was a portion at the end of the book that spoke of "white liberation" being a result of the Civil Rights movement. This concept came from the idea that even though many white southerners thought that they were in power and in control, they too were in a type of slavery, enslaved to their warped world view and forced lifestyles of oppression. When civil rights came and completely changed the social landscape of the South, it not only liberated blacks from a system of oppression, but it also liberated whites from a vicious cycle of oppressive ideologies and unequal ideals. In essence, whites gained their freedom from oppressive sin because of what they lost in the civil rights struggle. This also got me thinking about how that can happen to us in many other ways, when we think that our actions are only enslaving others when we are also enslaving ourselves. This thought process and idea was very important to me and I had never heard the civil rights struggle presented in that way.

As I contemplated the overall emphasis of this book, I realized that this is a new trend in historical writing and that we can probably expect to see more historical writing of this nature in the future. As we continue to move into a postmodern age, we are realizing more and more that there are more angles to stories than we originally thought, leading us to explore more and more angles and allowing us to see bigger and bigger pictures in the past and in the present.

Yellow Flash in the Madness

As I move in to the main part of the semester, I find myself spending more and more time studying and doing school assignments and less time reading personally and just being. I find it really funny how learning is stopping me from actually learning things on my own. With assignments, papers, and book reviews piling up I have been finding it more and more difficult to be quiet, be still, be contemplative, and just be.

Last week, as I was realizing this and being very frustrated by it, I decided to spend about a half hour of going to a small wooded area on campus and just sitting and listening. With all the noise in my life my spiritual life had come to a stand still. As I sat and just rested, I saw a flash of yellow in the trees out of the corner of my eye. When I looked, I saw that it was a Hooded Warbler, a bird I was not expecting to see in the middle of the city. Just this one sighting, along with the appreciation of nature and Creator that came with it, was able to comfort me somewhat in my struggle to find peace.

I am still struggling at times to reconnect with God and to wrestle with hard things (hence my lack of reading and blog posts), but I still find comfort in being able to have encounters with very simple, beautiful things, like a Hooded Warbler making the journey to campus to look for some food.

A Trip to the Chrysler


I went to the Chrysler Museum of Art in Norfolk in response to an assignment for my art history course I am taking this semester and really had a great time, more fun than I have had in an art gallery in the past. I have recently become very interested in art since taking this course and since my last visit to Minneapolis, where fascinating and experimental art abounds, and I have found that my opinions of art and of the philosophy behind are beginning to change drastically.

The Chrysler is not a huge gallery, but it does have the advantage that it has a wide variety of samples from many times throughout the timeline of Western art history. As I walked the halls, I was able to see the evolution of artistic expression through time, from the religious sculptures of classical Rome, to the colorful oil paintings and woodcuts of the Renaissance, to vibrant splotches and lines of the modern expressionism and postmodern assemblage. In the past I really didn't realize that philosophy had a lot to do with art, but upon closer study it really has a lot to do with thought and ideology, making art that much more meaningful. For example, Andy Warhol didn't paint soup cans just because he considered it art, but he did also because "cultured" artists thought that it was too ordinary to be called art. In the postmodern world of Warhol, where art can be anything, a soup can, a Brillo pad, or a pink portrait of Marilyn Monroe could be art. Interestingly enough, many philosophical and worldview movements begin in the art world and move to popular culture. Maybe art effects us more than we originally thought.

Another thing that has been effecting my view of art is looking beyond and and before the work of art. When someone looks beyond the painting, he doesn't just look at what the art looks like, but looks for how colors are meant to communicate feeling, how shapes communicate emotion, and how placement puts emphasis on different things. When someone looks before the painting, she is making a point to realize that this piece of art began in mind of the artist, and that artist spent lots of intimate time with that work, trying to effectively communicate what he or she was trying to get across. When we realize that art is in a way an extension of the artist, it takes on a very different importance and a more personal element.

I really believe that art really does have a profound influence on our culture and really can challenge and test our views of the world as well, and if we are willing to spend time experiencing art, we really have the potential to stretch and test our own thinking.

Experiential Discipleship as we Encounter God in the City

Many times we equate discipleship and spiritual growth with the study of books and being involved in deep thought over abstract concepts. But in many ways, growing closer to Christ involves just living our lives and being open interpreting the different things that occur in everyday life. Wherever we are, we are constantly being molded and changed as we experience different things. However, when we commit ourselves to go to places that are in desperate need of the hope of Christ, not only are others changed, we are changed as well.

This is one of the prominent themes of the book I just finished, Encounter God in the City by Randy White. White is a prominent staff member of Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, as well as a committed community activist in Fresno, California. After intentionally living in and visting needy commuinties all over the world, White has gained a deep and clear vision of God's love and passion for the people of urban areas. As White retells his many experiences of living in urban communities, he demonstates the how God has broken, molded, and shaped his view of those living in the city. As a result, he was not changed in respect to discipleship, but was also able to be used as an instrument of God's grace.

Throughout the book White talks about the idea of experiential discipleship. In other words, the idea that God changes and conforms us into the image of Christ not only through study of scripture, but also through our everyday experiences. By living in places outside our comfort zones and in places that challenge the way we think and the way we experience "normal" life to be, that is when God truly begins to change us. It is when we go to places with no shred of hope when we see the hope of Christ begin to emerge. It is when we got uncertain places when we realize that the Gospel is the only thing we can be certain of.

This really made me think about my own life and what that means for me as I approach graduation and the thought of moving into a very dark and uncertain part of my life. Do I want to settle, go to a place that is comfortable, and live in security, or live a life that is hard and uncertain, in a place frought with hardship and pain, a place where God is already working and where He needs workers to go. I truly believe that if I am willing to respond to God's guidance and go to places of darkness, I will not only be able to be an instrument of God, but that I will be shaped and formed like I never thought I could be.

Creativity versus Competition

I really enjoy playing and making music and freedom and the joy that it has the potential to give me, but I have been noticing a trend recently in the way that I think recently. Frequently I have been finding myself comparing own skills and creativity to the other musicians that I play with and that are around me. I either find myself trying judge their skill level as compared to mine, or I become discouraged because of a person's obvious skill and creativity that seems far superior to mine. At first I saw nothing wrong with this, until later I realized not only was I discouraging my own creativity, but more importantly I was unfairly judging people and getting discouraged by other people's gifts.

Obviously, this is not how I want to live my life, not only musically, but also with my everyday life in general. Creativity should not be something that is envied, but rather enjoyed, and people should not be judged by their skill level, but by what is really in their hearts. It is sometimes hard for me to realize that when it comes to art, everyone is coming from a different background and everyone is going to have a unique way of interpreting the world around them, whether it is through writing, music, visual art, dance, or any other way that their creativity may manifest itself. When will I finally begin to realize this and stop just trying to compare other people to some arbitrary standard, and what will happen when this idea starts being applied to other areas of my life?

Modern Christian Culture and Post-Rapture Radio

Every summer I make a point to spend some time reading longer books because I have much more time to do so during the summer rather than during the regular school year. This summer I chose to read Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov and Augustine's City of God. I thought that I would have a full plate of reading before me, but when I arrived in Minnesota my sister persuaded me to read one more book over the summer. I took her advice, not knowing that the book she would recommend to me would truly be a perspective changing book.

The book was Post-Rapture Radio, written by one of the pastor's of my sister's church, Russell Rathbun. The book was written as a sort of response to the Left Behind Series, but turns the idea on its head, instead making the government of the anti-Christ modern Christian culture. As a result, the book gives an almost disturbing critique of our own Christian sub-culture.

In the book Rathbun presents many differnet ideas and critiques, but the most striking ones for me included his arguments about interpretation of scripture and reliance on faith. He addresses the fact that many of us, especially those who grew up in the church, are caught in a way of thinking only one way about scripture, and tend to interpret the Bible as being more about us than it is about God. Also, he presents the all important reality that Christianity is based more on faith than we are many times willing to admit. It is sometimes a reality that is often looked over, but at the same time is very comforting.

I thouroghly enjoyed the book and purposely meant to leave out most of the details of the book because this book is something that needs to be experienced and not described. If you do read the book, prepare to have your christian worldview a little bit shaken, especially if you have experience with contemporary Christian sub-culture. Get ready to have the waters of Christianity muddied and be ready to enjoy it!

Back from the Wilderness

As it is prone to do, the summer has slipped by extremely quickly and the school year is already underway. A week ago I found myself packing up my belongings and leaving Wilderness Canoe Base to return to college and to begin my senior year. After spending three months in the North Woods of Minnesota, I became very accustomed to the slowed down pace of life, the extremely close community that I lived and worked alongside, and the beauty of my surroundings. Being able to be in the wilderness and lead multi-day trips into the backcountry was an absolute dream job for me and suited me perfectly, making Wilderness a very hard place for me to leave by the end of August.

However, by the month of August I was beginning to feel the desire to return to the university environment, to start learning again, and to continue my ministry at my campus through Intervarsity. But it was also extremely hard for me to leave my newfound friends and to leave the wilderness lifestyle I had adopted, especially because I am not sure if and when I will return to Minnesota and Wilderness Canoe Base again. I also experienced some aspects of culture shock when I returned to the "civilized world", from small things lilke not paddling and using a canoe at least once a day and not being used to seeing women wearing make-up, to bigger things like trying to find quiet places to meditate after being surrounded by places after by places to go all summer long. I almost felt like wanting to be in two places at once, somehow either moving ODU onto a raft in the Boundary Waters, or digging a giant hole in front of my dorm room, filling it with water, then paddling and portaging on it from time to time whenever I wanted to.

I have now officially returned to ODU and still absolutely love the college atmosphere, but I still am searching for some way to blend the two environments that I love so much. I now very well that I can't canoe everyday and camp every night while I am here at school, but I do know that I can try to foster the close community that I experienced up there into the relationships that I have withe people back here at school, honestly caring about them and loving them, not because I have to, but because I have seen what happens to people when they are cared for and I know that it is good. No matter where I am, hopefully I can draw in the "wilderness" experiences that I have had and will treasure, even if I never go back to the north country that I have newly begun to love dearly.

Off to the Wilderness!

This summer I will be working at Wilderness Canoe Base, a summer camp in Nothern Minnesota that guides kids on canoe trips into the wilderness and lets them experience a closer relationship with God. I have been extremely excited about going, serving, and exploring God's creation, but I was extremely saddened by the news that I received from the camp later today. I found out today that a fairly extensive fire broke out in the area east of the camp and some of the fire spread to the island where the camp is located. The fire went through the camp and destroyed 35 out of the 60 buildings in the camp. Thankfully, all of the staff were evacuated and no one was injured, but it is going to take some time to rebuild the parts of the camp that are now gone.

I have been informed that the summer schedule will go on as planned and I will still be serving on staff, but it will still be hard work guiding and working on the camp. At first I was very saddened and disappointed by this news, but later I received a huge feeling of peace and encouragement from God. Apparently God has sent me to be at this camp, this summer, at this particular time, and all I can do is have faith that God will do amazing things through me and this camp. Also, this will be an amazing oppurtunity to work with a team to rebuild and reform this camp. Also, I will be able to see nature in its rawest form, healing itself and renewing itself. The events that have happened are very sad and frustrating, but God's will will be in this and I have to believe that He will do amazing things this summer.

This may be the last post that I am able to do in a while, but I am confident that my eyes will be opened immensely this summer, hopefully giving me some good blogging material this fall when I come back. Have a great summer!

A History of Violence

Like the rest of the nation, I was saddened and shocked by shootings at Virginia Tech and joined the all college students and other Americans in prayer for the victims, their families, as well as the gunman. But as I continued to think and reflect on the events that have come to pass, I thought about how our change in worldview may contribute to these new manifestations of disturbing and publicized violence.

Shocking acts of violence have always been a part of history, but it seems we may be witnessing a new evolution in its manifestations. The Baby Boomer generartion (considered to be the last "modern" generation) also witnessed growing up terrible publicized acts of violence, but they seemed to witness high profile political assassinations as well as politically charged events (the assassinations of John F. Kennedy, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, and Robert Kennedy, as well violence at civil rights rallies and Kent State University). All of the these events were terrible and shocking to the country and a connecting similarity between these acts is that they were all carried out because of what somebody believed and that they disagreed with something that the other person believed, in other words, they became violent because of something they valued and what they wanted to protect.

The postmodern generation has also witnessed violent acts growing up, but it appears that they have been of a different genre. Rather than seeing politically charged situations, we have witnessed violent acts of alienated individuals (John Hinckley Jr., the Columbine shootings, subsequent school shootings, and now recently Cho Seung-Hui). Rather than being motivated by political or ideological differences, it appears that violence has come from individuals frustrated by not being able to fit in and feel valued. Rather than violence being based on individual identity, it is being based on desiring to be part of a group identity and not finding it.

As we move into a postmodern world and ideology, we need to realize that publicized violent acts are going to change as well. I think that we are going to find that it is going to be more evident that people value being in a group rather than defending an ideology or political view. As a result, we may see a growing trend in violent acts from troubled, alienated people rather than political assassins. With this in mind, this makes the situation even more dire for Christians to bring people into a loving and healthy community, bringing them closer to the grace and healing that only Christ can give.

Once again, my prayers continue to be with the students of Virginia Tech and I pray that God will bring healing to the campus, the students, and the families.

Great Dismal Swamp

Today I had the privledge of going on a birding expedition with a Dr. Lytton Musselman, the head of the ODU biology department and possibly one of the coolest people I know, as well an ornithologist from the Smithsonian into the Great Dismal Swamp here in Virginia and had a blast. The Great Dismal Swamp is a huge tract of swampland in Eastern Virginia that has been abused for centuries by humans and is just recently recovering its wild status. It was only my second time into the swamp and I had a blast, especially since I was surrounded by people excited about nature and willing to listen about what is happening in this diverse area.

The weather was absolutely beautiful for the area (which typically means bugless) and I got to see some flora and fauna that I had never seen before or that I had not seen in many years. Some of these included the prothonotary warbler (a first sighting for me), wood ducks (birds I haven't seen since I was 6 years old), black gum, red maple, and bald cypress trees, as well as numerous traces of bear and otter. It was also very interesting going with several either former or current biology students because they were always turning up things like snakes or tadpoles, as well as being fascinated with some of the tiniest elements of creation.

I think the best part however was being able to spend more time with Dr. Musselman. I had already gotten to know him through my church as well as through the university, but I had never gotten to spend time with him in the field. It is so neat to see someone so interested in the world around us and willing to engage others in his fascination. "Take a look at those ferns! What type of tree is this? Everyone gather round! This flower only blooms for one week a year! Taste this! It tastes just like asparagus!" He was constantly engaging all of us in our surroundings and showing us the many intricacies of what appeared on the surface to be just a boring swamp. What a blessing to be able see creation in a brand new way!

I always enjoy going out into the creation and learning and experiencing new things, but today I really was challenged to learn and understand rather than just experience and soak in. I definately will still take time to simmer, soak, and experience creation, but who knows, maybe this will spark a new interest in me to pursue God and his creation in a new way.

Why Me?

To begin with, I am going to say that I will never understand the co-existence of the sovereign will of God and the free will of man (what a way to start a post!). However, recently I have been finding it more frustrating since I have been studying Christian leadership in the past few days. Little by little I have been growing and discovering more about what it means to be a leader, the gifts that God has given to me, as well as how the grace of God works through me as I learn more about these gifts. Over the past year or so I have been discovering that I do have some gifting in the area of leadership, and that I continually need to allow God to grow me into a better leader, but have also realized that most of the time I have assummed that everyone is gifted in the area of leadership as long as they are willing to submit to God. However, I have also noticed that many people are not leaders and do not appear to have those gifts. This has led me to ask God, "why me?"

I have had this conversation with my campus minister a couple of times about why God has chosen some people to have different gifts and to be more teachable than others. A lot of times, this seems very unfair in my mind and in the minds of many others, and it just doesn't make sense sometimes for God to make people unequally gifted. This where I really need to let my faith take over and to trust what God has planned for my life and the life of others. All I know is that God has given me a desire to be a leader and I need to continually pray to have God to continue to grow me into a better leader. I don't know why God makes some people more gifted and more receptive than others, but I know that I need to have faith in God that He knows the ultimate plan rather than me.

I can't say that I have come to the end of my thoughts on this and I still don't understand why God has given me the gifts that I have, but all I know is that faith and rest in the Lord is the only place I can go, no matter how confused or frustrated I am.

Balance in the Revolution in World Missions

Recently I finished the book Revolution in World Missions by K.P. Yohannan, a book that I got when I attended the Urbana Missions conference in January, and it really got me thinking about the constantly broadening global missions field and what role all of these cultures can play as we all reach out to the world.

The book had many good points in it, especially being extremely committed to presenting the gospel as well as giving an interesting "non-Western" view of American culture (the author is a native of India). However, some questions were raised when I thought about the main thesis of the book. In essence, the revolution in world missions that the author speaks of is that there is an explosion in native missionaries ministering to their own people groups and are having a profound effect on areas in the Two-Thirds world, especially in areas that are closed to traditional Western missionaries. I think that it is absolutely beautiful that the Gospel is spread faster than it ever has before and it is being done by people who can best reach out to those their own culture, and yet I also felt that the book also sent some negative messages about cross-cultural missions. It almost seemed that sometimes the book portrays the idea of Westerners going into foreign missions is outdated and that the best thing for Americans to send funding strictly for native missionaries. This may have not been the aim of the book's message, but it did get me thinking about what that may mean.

Obviously, strictly relying on native missionaries is essential in countries that are completely closed to outside missions. Also, I believe that it is essential that all missions organizations should be coordinated and directed by those who are native to the area and have an infinately better understanding of the culture rather than an outsider. However, I think that it would be disasterous if cross-cultural missions was completely shelved and labelled as a thing of the past. I believe that when Christians experience and work with other cultures we will gain a better perspective for the body of Christ and what he is doing with the world, something that will be invaluable as we move closer and closer into a global community. I still believe that native missionaries should be the decision-makers and organizers of missions in their areas, but I still believe that completely compartmentalize countries and not allow others to experience and work for the kingdom wherever it may be.

I sincerely hope that I have in no way taken any of the author's words or ideas out of context and that I was able to express my thoughts about this clearly. I just believe that now we are moving into a new paradigm in missions and what it means to integrate balance and listening to each other about each other's cultures as we continue to reach out to all with the Gospel. Different cultures are going to be reached out to and experienced, and we need to be ready to be flexible, change our thinking and ways, and be willing to listen to the Spirit as well as each other.