Good Neighbors

As the fall and winter seasons continue to approach here in Northern Minnesota, the Gunflint Trail becomes less and less dominated by tourists, campers, and canoeists, and more and more by the wildlife. The true calm of the wilderness has officially set in and the inhabitants of the woods are becoming more mobile as they prepare for the oncoming winter. This has been very obvious with the movements of our local wolfpack. Packs have very large territorial area and they patrol them regularly, meaning that we see our local pack almost on a weekly basis. I was driving down the trail only a few days ago and saw the alpha male of the pack and another female making their rounds across the landscape.

The staff here at camp have become quite familiar with the Alpha male because of his appearence and because of his demeanor. I personally have seen him at least four times, several times within feet of him. While most of the wolves in the pack are of the typical white and gray coloration, the Alpha is dark brown and black, making him very recognizable, bordering on mysterious and frightening. In addition, he is a good 15 to 20 pounds heavier than the other wolves in his pack. However, his most distinguising characteristic is his personality and character. Most of the pack is shy and are generally nervous around people, but the Alpha always makes a point to stop and make eye contact with virtually everything in his path, even if it is a moving vehicle. Essentially it is his job to be big, dark, and intimidating, and he is an expert at that job. His presence and bold personality make him a very dynamic character on the Gunflint, and my personal encounters with him have given me a very distinct respect for him.

These encounters and ponderings have lead me to think more about the "neighborhood" that I live in. Often times when we think of our neighbors we think of the people that live near us, or even the people around us on a communal, maybe even a global scale. Also, as we begin to know our neighbors better, we begin to know them much better, even to love them and care about their well being. Caring about our human neighbors is extremely key to living a full and godly life, but often times I feel like it is easy to ignore our natural neighbors in the process. Do we always greet or care about the old oak tree that you walk past everyday on the way to work? What about the pair of cardinals that visit the bird feeder everyday, or the clump of mushrooms that silently feast on the dead tree in the backyard? It may seem odd and almost crazy to think of nature in this way, but I think that for me it is key to gaining a better understanding of my context within the land and area that I live in and the relationships that I have with the things around me, whether they be the people that I dearly love, the wolves that I see patrolling the roadsides, or the pines, birches, and firs that I pass by everyday on my way to begin the work day. In the same way that human neighborhoods are full of differnet characters and personalities, our natural neighborhoods are full of dynamic and unique personalities as well, ones that we can greatly learn from if we are only willing to listen. If we strove to be good neighbors to not only our human neighbors, but all of our living neighbors, what kind of insight would we have then?

City Kids in the Woods

Wilderness Canoe Base was originally designed for city kids. In the fifties, the camp was built in order to give tough kids growing up in the rough part of Minneapolis a real taste of the wilderness and give them experiences that they might not be able to have on their own. Going into the wilderness, especially going into the Boundary Waters, gives kids a chance to reconnect with their truly wild spirits and the chance to connect with the truly wild spirit of God. That spirit was rekindled this weekend when a group of North Minneapolis inner city kids came up to the camp on a retreat this weekend. The atmosphere around the camp was absolutely electric with activity and fun!

The kids did almost everything that you can do at camp for a weekend. They canoed around on the lake, took many hikes, took pictures all over the islands, sat around the fireplace at night, and consumed huge amounts of hot cocoa and s'mores. They were completely worn out by the end of the weekend and it looked like they had a fantastic time. It was really a privilege to see this place really make an impression on them. Being away from the busyness and distraction of the inner city really gave them time to relax and have fun. It was also really special to see kids that have a high potential to be involved in drugs, alcohol, and gang violence, just have the chance to really be kids again and play hide and seek (I do not kid!), be freaked out by walking alone in the dark woods, and appreciate every little squirrel, frog, and loon. It is a kind of energy you don't see as often with suburban white kids who get to go camping every so often. I do not mean to critcize the suburban kids who come up here, their background being very similar to my own, but it is just especially neat to see kids who grow up in cities most of their lives experience the environment that I truly believe that we were created to live in. This weekend all I did was guide them on the lake, cook the food, and hang out with them, but they managed to pull me and the other staff into their community and make us one of the family. For that I feel truly blessed. Maybe we all need a little wildness in our lives, whether we live in log cabins or high rise apartment buildings.

Snowflake

It has been quite awhile since I did this! Working up at camp has taken up a lot of my time, but recently my surroundings have gotten my old writing juices flowing, especially since I get to live in such a beautiful place, so here I go.

This morning as I was paddling across the lake in the late morning I had the pleasure of seeing a snowflake. Not an actual, physical snowflake mind you, but rather a snow bunting, also known in the far North as a "snowflake." I was thrilled to see him because not only was he a beautiful bird, but it was also the first time I had ever seen one. A snow bunting sighting also means much more up here. It means that winter is not very far behind the coming of this little bird. Snow buntings are birds that breed in the far, far North, farther than Alaska, and thrive in harsh, cold climates. Every winter these small birds descend to the northern states for the winter, feasting on the things that would be in a deep freeze farther north. Seeing a snow bunting is yet another indicator of the seemingly rapid change of seasons.

All around us up here there have been other signs of the approaching winter. For the past three nights we have been experiencing very deep overnight frosts. This has also triggered the fall colors, making the surrounding area flaming yellow with changing birches, aspens, and tamaracks. It is quite a change in comparison to Norfolk, where I have spent my last four autumns, where I could expect to see temperatures in the 50's, not the 20's, and where I could expect to see migratory ducks descending from the northern parts of the states. All these things are beautiful and exciting in their own way, but it is certainly a change when compared to the soon to be frozen reaches of northern Minnesota.

All these transitions have lead me to think about the connection to the land that I have been establishing since I came up here to stay in late May. Working outside for months and months has really made a deep connection in my heart to this place and has immersed me in the beauty of the seasons as well as the beautiful setting around me. More and more I have been feeling more connected to nature and wilderness, feeling like it is a place where I belong rather than a place that I visit. I truly believe that, deep down, all humans are meant to live closer to the nature around them and it has been very refreshing to feel that connection as I paddle across the lake, listen to the wind in the trees and the thumping of grouse in the bushes, and as I spend hour after hour splitting our winter stockpile of wood. Perhaps I am finally beginning to form a deeper relationship with the beautiful framework of the wilderness around me, and also with it's mighty creator. The wooded, dense, and watery landscape of northern Minnesota is carving out a very special place in my heart, along with the idea and concept of wilderness itself, and I think that that relationship will be with me for years to come. All this from a small snow bunting, pecking at the ground near my beached canoe.

Dirty Jobs

What did you want to be when you wanted to grow up? I personally wanted to be an entomologist for quite awhile when I was growing up until I moved on to thinking about all the other cool things that I could do when I became an adult. No matter what it was, I knew that I wanted to do something that was fun and extremely exciting. Anyone who watches TV these days has had to of noticed that many of the programs are beginning to document and glorify extreme and dangerous jobs, showing anything that is out of the ordinary. Anytime you switch on the Discovery Channel the programs are full of reality shows on extreme, physical, out of the ordinary, and many times extremely manly jobs, shows including Dirty Jobs, Ice Road Truckers, Axemen, and Deadliest Catch (what could be more manly than catching crabs off the frozen seas of Alaska for a monstrous profit?). It seems that our culture has an extreme love for people with extreme and exciting ways of making a living.

Along with this love for the out of the ordinary occupation, there also seems to be a cultural aversion toward the ordinary desk job. Movies like and shows like Office Space and The Office are already giving us pictures of how redundant, alienating, and ridiculous corporate, dead-end jobs can be. It has also been very easy to see this aversion in my own thoughts and those of my roommates. All three of us have voiced that we have absolutely do not want a desk job in the corporate sector and are selecting occupations that get us out "normal" work environments. I am seeking a job in the Outdoor Education field, Jon, one of my roommates, is going to be a campus ministry intern, hardly a "normal" job, and Jason, my other roommate, has voiced that the last thing that he would want right now is to have a job with a cubicle and a desk.

So why do so many people, especially young people, feel so threatened by typical jobs within the service sector. I can't answer for everyone on this subject, but I can offer some of my thoughts on why I would prefer to have an abnormal occupation. There are many different reasons why I would not want a desk job right now, for reasons such as fear of repetition and alienation, boredom, and loss of a sense of purpose, but I think one of the biggest reasons why I want to work in a place free of indoor monotony is because its element of grounding to the earth. In the book The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran speaks about work as being a way to be connected to the cycle of the earth because everything else in the universe does work as well and is able to see and reap the fruits of its labor. I think that all work has some fruit to some extent, but it just seems that some work has more visible fruit than others, giving us a much more concrete feeling of accomplishment and contentment. Whether you are a farmer, a minister, a painter, or a hot-air balloon pilot, it just seems like there is more fruit in their jobs rather than composing TPS reports all day long.

In addition to these thoughts, I also can't get away from the romantic, exciting elements of an adventurous jobs that seem so tempting to children as they think about what they want to be when they grow up. Perhaps I am still young and naive, but I still can't get away from those thoughts of adventure. I am always encouraged by the words of Yvon Chouinard, the founder of the Patagonia outdoor company and renowned Yosemite rock climber: "The Lee Iococcas, Donald Trumps, and Jack Welches of the business world are heroes to no one except other businessmen with similar values. I wanted to be a fur trapper when I grew up." The world is a lot bigger than money, and maybe the way that we make and spend our time money should reflect that.

The Faith and the Doubts of the Philosophers

Recently I have begun to explore the philosophy of Danish Soren Kierkegaard and the many thoughts on God and religion that he had. Right now I have begun to read his famous work Fear and Trembling, written in 1843. Kierkegaard wrote on a great variety of different subjects and has been classified as an existentialist, post-modernist, individualist, and mystic all rolled into one, but in Fear and Trembling he tackles the specific issue of faith and obedience, bringing up some very interesting thoughts and arguments.

Kierkegaard frames his arguments in Fear and Trembling by using the example of Abraham sacrificing his son Isaac at the command of God, only to be later ordered to spare his son at last minute. Kierkegaard gives this as an example as one of the greatest acts of faith ever recorded, but also emphasizes how huge this act really was. Not only was Abraham being ordered to sacrifice his own son, a painful command in and of itself, but he was essentially being ordered by God to do something completely outside of the nature of God. By sacrificing Isaac, Abraham would not only be killing his own son, but he would also essentially be destroying and going against everything that he ever understood about God. Despite this, Abraham stood true to the very end, having faith that God would prove to be faithful.

This story and illustration is compelling enough, but what really peaked my interest in this passage was Kierkegaard's account of his own struggles with this story. Kierkegaard doesn't merely gloss over the story like a Sunday school lesson for grade schoolers, but instead tackles the maddening paradox that this passage embraces. How could an all knowing, all powerful, all loving God order his faithful servant to do something that would be completely contradictory to His own nature? Kierkegaard stood perplexed. He states that he has studied various aspects of complicated philosophy and understands it fairly well but when confronted with a story that many Christian children learn in grade school, he is confused and very doubtful. He comes to the point where he says that all he knows is that he believes that God is loving in the end and that we can only admire Abraham and his rock hard faith, despite all the paradoxes woven throughout.

I think what spoke greatly to me was that Kierkegaard was so honest about his inner conflict with belief and doubt and shows that it is completely normal, even for famous philosophers. Often times I feel that I, along with other believers, are afraid of having doubts and feel that it is a weakening of our faith, but Kierkegaard states to the contrary. Rather than doubt being the erosion of faith, it instead tries and solidifies it. If anything, it is very comforting to see that even the greatest philosophers and thinkers of our time dealt with sin, doubt, and faith just like the rest of us.

An Inbred Sense of Adventure

Have you ever thought about how the way your parents raised you has had a lasting effect on how you experience and look at the world? The more I talk with people about their relationships with their parents and where they grew up I am realizing more and more how much an effect that has on our desires and passions. I have talked with people who have over-bearing parents, supportive parents, passive parents, and absent parents. I have also been able to talk to people from the West, the Mid-West, the East coast, from Europe, and from Asia. All of these experiences have lead me to think about my own experience and how that is shaping how I am feeling right now as I begin to move into a new chapter of my life.

Both of my parents were born and raised in the west, mainly Colorado, and that kind of mindset had a great effect on them. Both of my parents were very adventurous and were willing to go all over the country and try different things. It seems that that small bit of wanderlust that they experienced in their lives seemed to rub off on both my sister and me. My parents brought us up to be adventurous, to follow our hearts, to try different things, and to seek God wherever He may lead. My sister did just that by moving to Minnesota, pursuing herbal medicine after a getting a degree in church music, and pursuing a life on her own rather than going straight into marriage. The same was true of me as I went to ODU to pursue a career in naval aviation, then quit to pursue other things, including working in places away from home for my summers in college. It seems through all of the things that I have experienced that inbred sense of adventure of romantic pursuit of God through intuition.

So this is my background as I come into my soon-to-be post-college life. My western upbringing continues to drive me on to new and different frontiers. But the hard part is that I am conflicted about what frontier to explore. I find myself applying to a job with Intervarsity and also equipped to serve in the wilderness as an outdoor educator. While I am still excited about interviewing with a job with IV, an organization that has dramatically changed the way that I look at God, I still continue to have the nagging feeling of going out into the great expanses of the wilderness and teaching others to respect and experience the wonders of God's creation that has profoundly changed my life. As my job interview with Intervarsity draws nearer, I find myself being more conflicted about what path I want to take, and what the timing of taking that path should be. I know this is part of growing up, but I am still feeling the pangs of exploration and the unknown, the same pangs that drew gold-miners to the Klondike, what drew Cook and Amundsen to the frozen south, and what drew Muir to the Sierras in the uncharted mountains of California. What an effect our experiences have on our own passions, wishes, and directions!

Leadership....On and Off the Mountain

I have been in leadership positions of various organizations on and off for just about 7 years, but it seems that, despite my "experience," that I struggle with understanding leadership and becoming a better leader. Since becoming president of the Intervarsity Chapter at IV, I have been constantly challenged by how to learn to be a better and more effective leader and have gotten a lot of feedback, mainly from my campus staff worker and those that I lead. Leadership is still a struggle for me, but I continue to learn every day that leadership is not just about managing and getting things done, but also about encouraging and building people up along the way as well. I still struggle with putting this idea into practice, but while I was reading a book on mountaineering I was encouraged to see this principle of leadership presented in a fresh new way.

The book that I am reading, Mountaineering: The Freedom of the Hills, is essentially a very fat book full of all the various aspects of mountaineering, from hiking to climbing to ice climbing to cooking to glacier rope-work. I especially enjoyed the chapter on group leadership because I am always interested in improving my own leadership, both in my everyday context and within a outdoor guiding context. Essentially, this chapter said that a climb leader has to have to very important and equal responsibilities. One, the leader has to constantly set goals and encourage others to attain those goals. In the context of mountaineering, this would mean making sure party makes it across a glacier, over a rock face, and onto the summit in time. The second and equally important task of the climb leader is to be the guardian of group cohesion. This means that the leader has to constantly have his or her finger on the pulse of the groups morale and makes sure they are both being challenged and having a good time. In other words, the climb leader has to realize that the real point of climbing is not about attaining the summit (even though it is a very important aspect), but that the real point of climbing is enjoying nature and experiencing the excitement, challenge, and adventure of being in the mountains. The climb leader sets goals and wants to attain them, but the leader always has real point always in mind.

At first, I really enjoyed this chapter only because of the possible applications that I could use for it when I lead others in the wilderness, but then it struck me that that idea is what has been drilled into me since I became the president of IV. I really like to focus on goals, business, and getting things done, and really skimp on group cohesion and the real point of being on leadership in IV: to be challenged in our adventurous walk with God and be challenged in how we serve others as Christians. Attaining goals is important, but our victories would be empty if we really miss the point of growing closer together and seeking to enjoy and follow God more closely.